The Hard Flex Café

A Good Place to Read, Muse, and Brood

This is Hard Flex Café.
Men no longer understand that we have to learn how to become better human beings, particularly better men. We rarely have the fathers and mentors we need. We prefer to be entertained, not to be bored, than to do the hard work that it takes to evolve the soul. There’s a lot of talk these days about toxic masculinity—-and that’s not unwarranted when we take a good look at ourselves and the men who lead and follow. But men can fend off toxicities and create more interesting lives if they are willing to listen, to invest in the haul, do things more important than watching a game. To tend others you have to tend to yourself. When did it happen that boredom is no longer permitted? How did we lose our ability to pay attention? Why do we see life as drudgery, entertainment, and vacation instead of odyssey, inquiry, and examination. Not every adventure succeeds, not every chase is worth the quarry or the cost. When so much is work and family, we prefer to reward ourselves with ease. The alternative is what I’m called The Hard Flex. This is the place where I’m going to explain what it means to flex hard enough to make the difference that might make a difference.